Healing, Revealing, Becoming: The Courage to Show Up As You Are

Some of us still flinch a little at the word vulnerable, even though Brené Brown lauded its power years ago. She describes it as uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure, and says vulnerability is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.

Last Sunday's speaker, Cindy Clay, RScP, demonstrated what that looks like.

A note before you read further — this post touches tender territory. If Sunday's talk caught you off guard or brought up some discomfort, please reach out to our practitioners for support.

Our Oneness Candle ritual reminds us that we're all connected

Cindy seemed comfortable telling her story, but I imagine that comfort was hard won. Stories like hers take courage, and it's a story too many have experienced, if not the same thing, then something similar.

Shame and self-blame get packed away and, over time, play out in ways we often don't connect back to their source: perfectionism, the need for approval, never feeling worthy, attracting what we say we don't want, for example. Anything that confirms our belief that we're unworthy of love, or of simply existing.

Trauma is far too common, and it shapes the stories we tell about ourselves, the behaviors we adopt, even our health. Many of us carry stories of shame and blame, mostly well-hidden (until they aren't). It’s part of the human condition, just with different expressions depending on the experience and who's experiencing it.

Healing Begins When We Name It

There's a concept in psychology called name it to tame it — giving language to what happened or how we feel loosens its grip. Brené Brown says: Owning our stories is hard. But it's nowhere near as hard as spending our lives running from them.

Cindy talked about the armor we put on when we choose to be invulnerable. It protects us, yes, but it also keeps out the very connection we long for. Healing begins when we tell our story to someone we trust. And she was clear: not everyone deserves our stories. Consider carefully who can hold space for your darkest secrets, those things you're sure will cause people to stop loving you (they almost certainly won’t).

I have plenty of my own stories, and I still have work to do, just different layers. It's one of the reasons I come to CSL Ballard for my weekly mindset reset. It’s not therapy; that helps, too. And, it's all part of healing.

As Jim Blake, CEO of Unity, said: True strength isn't in the armor we wear. It's in the openness we allow.

Revealing: Who You Actually Are

Science of Mind founder Ernest Holmes wrote: It's through the revelation of the self to the self that one understands life, that one approaches the power that is at the heart of God.

We're not fixing anything; we're surrendering the self we constructed to protect us. When Holmes talked about perfection, he didn't mean flawlessness; he meant wholeness.

Cindy asked: What does my story have to teach me about who I really am?

She revealed that underneath her story of shame and silence was something simple and human… the desire to be loved. The great truth, she said, is that we are worthy of love. All of us. Out of the ashes of the false self, the phoenix rises, not once, but as an ongoing process of renewal.

Becoming: What We Were Born to Be

Cindy mentioned Mark Nepo, whose Book of Awakening came to me at one of those pivotal moments when I needed exactly what he had to say. Paraphrasing:

A flower blooms not because it has an audience, but because that's how it becomes what it was born to be. A hawk flies not because birders are watching, but because that's what it was put here to do. For humans, how we grow is inextricably linked with being vulnerable - to transform, to find our place in the larger universe, and to feel the oneness of all things.

Holmes described this as a continuous upward spiral. Every story, every memory, every narrative we've crafted about what happened to us becomes a doorway to something more true about who we are.

The Ceremony

Cindy closed with a healing ceremony, asking us to call to mind a hidden story, then hold it, feel it, and imagine an altar of love and place it there. Release it, trusting it will be transformed.

I watched online and wasn't in the room. I'm curious how this landed for those who were. Feel free to share in the comments, though be mindful of anything too personal in a public space. The rosewater ritual felt like a perfect end to a powerful morning, filled with synchronicity, caring, and concern for our community and the world at large.

I'll leave you with a final favorite quote: An unexamined life is not worth living. - Plato. I'm glad we get to do this together.

Sending you all love and see you next week, with gratitude,

Laura