Don’t Wait: Doubt as a Doorway

This week kicked off our May theme of Divine Doubt, and Rev. Gary Ninneman reframed how many of us think about it. Instead of an obstacle or a feeling to avoid, how can we see doubt as a doorway?

Doubt is reactive, noisy, and often fear-based. It shows up as second-guesses and self-protection. It can also be useful. When it shows up as uncertainty, Rev. Gary suggested we explore what's causing it instead of trusting it to be right, and to have it be an opening to something better.

Let's not give doubt the last word.

Because doubt has friends, like criticism and fear, it's not always clear which of those we're feeling, nor how to recognize what's useful. We're wired to watch for whatever might harm us, and each of these feelings can stop us from doing things we really want to do.

Our Inner Voice: Friend or Foe?

My inner voice can be both friend and enemy, and frankly, it's sometimes my worst enemy (we're all familiar with that, yes?). It's that voice that shows up when we're doing something we care about. When the outcome or experience matters, or we worry about what people might think. Our cranky voice says it won't work, we'll fall short, we'll embarrass ourselves somehow.

Rev. Gary pointed out that we don't look for sabertooth tigers anymore, but our brains still run old programming designed to keep us safe. It may have kept our ancestors alive. Now, it mostly keeps us small.

When we can be OK with the unknown, what's beyond what's visible, we create possibility

Referring to Alan Watts, who warned that we confuse the symbol for the reality, the menu for the meal, we think about our lives, make plans, worry about it, and somehow, over time, we stop truly living. Instead, we're on autopilot, under a pile of to-do lists and ongoing challenges. Rev. Gary said, instead of trusting life itself, we give our power to the mental menu: all the what-if's and worst-case scenarios.

Ernest Holmes, our Science of Mind founder, taught that doubt is an inner contradiction — a divided mind creates a divided life. We put our energy exactly where we don't want it to go.

The Things We Might Regret

Rev. Gary shared a story about a lunch date with a second grader he hadn't yet met, and how he almost talked himself out of it. I get it. I've been there.

When I was matched with my Little Sister through Big Brothers Big Sisters, she was nine. I submitted the paperwork, and then all the doubts showed up: Really? Why would anyone want to be matched with you? How can this work? You're more of a great aunt than a big sister. What will you even talk about? I'm an only child. Children make me nervous. I decided to do this... why? I almost backed out a few times.

My 'little" is now in college and just turned 19. Yes, it was challenging at first, and no, we didn't know how to talk to each other. But we learned, and now we're better than ever since graduating from the official program.

Doubt seems so reasonable. And — as Rev. Gary said — it's not fact. It's just a very loud, very persuasive amplification of our fears.

Merriam-Webster says doubt calls the truth into question and demonstrates a lack of confidence.

So What Do We Do With It?

Most of us aren't comfortable being uncomfortable or sitting with the unknown. We don't want to look bad or get it wrong. We want to have everything figured out, which isn't possible.

Really, would we even want it to?

If we already knew what happens to our future selves, what would that be like? Part of me wants to know it'll all turn out all right. But the mystery is part of what makes life so amazing.

I loved Rev. Gary's story about our practitioner Justin, who left on a trip to Europe this week. When planning got complicated, as it does these days, he almost gave in to self-doubt, deciding that staying home with his cat for his mortal eternity would be perfectly fine. Instead, he had a mindset shift: I'm becoming a seasoned traveler. 

Never doubting isn't possible. It's in our DNA. But it's how we manage it that matters. Rev. Gary was clear: channeling Bob Newhart and saying "just stop it" doesn't work. What works is noticing it, naming it, and actively engaging with it instead of letting it drive.

In true Science of Mind practice, he noted, when our conviction is greater than our doubt — when we embody the mental equivalent of what we want — the contradiction dissolves. We stop thinking about why it won't work and start thinking about how it will. We embody it.

Self-doubt is real, and yet, taking a stand for our convictions and letting doubt take a back seat is the way through. I can see where I don't stand for my convictions and the impact that has on me. I'm ready to change that mindset and grateful for this new level of awareness. I'm working on my own version of Justin's reframe (different topic, same idea).

Remember the book Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway? Written by Susan Jeffers in 1987, the title still has power. Nike says, "Just do it." Recalling our What If theme earlier this year, what if the thing we're doubting is exactly the thing we're supposed to do?

Doubt as a Doorway: The Invitation

It's true that doubt keeps us safe. But is feeling safe how we truly want to feel, or is it just us playing small? How can we be more curious? How can we focus on what might go right rather than what might go wrong?

As Rev. Gary said, one way to think about this is: "There are infinite ways this can unfold — and multiple ways it can go well."

Stand in the discomfort and trust you're capable. Step through the doorway. Clarity will come, and what's on the other side might be better than you expect.

Shout out: The Detention Lottery

Kudos to everyone who had a role in Sunday's production of The Detention Lottery. I learned so much from this intense theatrical experience, and even more from the discussion that followed. But it was the experience of being in that courtroom that set the stage for curiosity. When we know, we can't unknow — and the human cost of what's happening in our justice system is frightful. Deep gratitude to Jean Katayama for proposing this to the Core Council, and to Chris Ellard and Kris Steinnes for everything they did to bring it to life. And to our talented acting team — Chris, Jean, Mark Jacobs, Pam Ninneman, and Gaelen Poage — thank you all.

With gratitude,

Laura